Jujicus Ju’l Jorander – palm destroyer and terrible ballroom dancer

Once, a long time ago now, I wrote about a long night spent at the vet with one of my dogs. The Dopey One. I half intended to write more about my babies on this blog but never got around to it. Writing about things that aren’t real life is way more fun than reality.

As it turns out, I just have the one fur baby now. The Skinny One had different ideas about living at my house than I did, and so with a heavy heart I had to give him back to my parents, the house where he’d grown up in the lap of luxury. Apparently, sleeping outside and not being allowed inside while we’re all out of the house wasn’t acceptable, so he decided to take himself on adventures every single day regardless of the boundaries we set. That outlook on life is also a great way to get a dog lost forever or hit by a car, so we couldn’t let that situation continue.

The Dopey One is just as dopey as ever, though, and her silly face gets me through most days.

Maja. Except you pronounce it Mah-yah. Except we also pronounce it Mah-jah. The use of that ‘j’ in the spelling has led to many nicknames.

Maja. MaJa. Muj. Juj. Jaja. Gaga. Juju. Jujee. Lala. Lulu. Moo Moo. Baby Girl. Girl One. Baby One. Puppy. Baby. Bibby. Bibbity. Boo Boo. Boop Boop. Muj Juj. Oi. Stop It. And Jujicus Ju’l Jorander (a reference to a little-known TV show that came firstly from her brother Jet/Skinny. If you get the reference, a million points to you. If not, click –> “Legend of the Seeker“).

So she responds to a whole host of names when she feels like it. Mostly she’d rather keep eating the cat food than respond to any name that doesn’t involve stomping near her or a kidney punch. The kidney punch was accidental, performed by my sister (Lady). Juj got her back by jumping on her and giving her a bruise that has lasted a week and counting, among other things. She sometimes hits you with her teeth while we’re playing (as opposed to biting, she doesn’t bite, her teeth just hit you really hard with no jaw movement at all.), and can miraculously increase her weight from 20kgs to 100kgs when she stands on your foot, but other than that she’s very gentle.

Unless you have a stick. She will move mountains to take that stick from you, even if she has another, bigger stick right beside her.

A two year old. She’s basically a two year old. Well, she is a two year old – but in dog years that means a late teenager. Which also describes her personality.

I’m really selling this dog well, hey?
imageThe Dopey One

She tries to catch flies when they are stuck in the house, but fails dramatically. She has taken it upon herself to destroy all the palm trees in our yard by pulling at the fronds until they come off, and then chewing them to pieces. They are seriously her favourite toy. I don’t even buy her new toys anymore (okay, sometimes, but she kills them immediately.) Lady received her week-long bruise because she was holding a palm frond and not paying attention to Dopey’s whereabouts. Rookie mistake.

In all seriousness, it’s basically the thought that I get to go home and cuddle her eventually that gets me through the day. I figured that she deserves an exclusive mention on here. I have many, many funny stories that involve her – and the Skinny One, when he still lived with us – so when something particularly amusing happens, maybe I’ll share it. Of course, I can think of zero stories right at this moment.

Except for one from way back before we even had the Dopey One. Lady was ballroom dancing with Skinny in our kitchen. As you do. He’s very awkward, so naturally Lady had to lead. It lasted approximately 8.7 seconds before Skinny bowed out. The look of fear and confusion on his face was hysterical. I promise, it was funny at the time. I bet he looked just as awkward climbing over our 7 foot fence every day. He’s such a dick. I love him anyway.
imageThe Skinny One

Lady’s cats are far better at ballroom dancing than my dogs will ever be. Dopey is worse than Skinny, if you can believe – she’s a terrible ballroom dancer, but a pretty good dog.
imageThe Cuddles of Jetticus & Jujicus

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